Funny Jokes About Samson and Delilah
If you're a Christian, then chances are you take your faith pretty seriously. After all, it's a big deal to trust God's plan and follow the teachings of Jesus Christ. That doesn't mean there isn't any room for silliness and laughter in your life, of course — God is a God of joy! And there's no better way to celebrate your faith than with some funny, clean Christian jokes the whole family can enjoy. These G-rated Bible jokes are perfect for telling after church or during Bible study, and they may even teach your kids a thing or two they didn't already know.
Love hearing dad jokes? Then you'll definitely enjoy these corny jokes about the Heavenly Father. From groan-worthy Bible puns to clever religious one-liners, we've got kid-friendly Christian jokes that will even make your priest chuckle. Do you know what God did to cure Moses' headache? Do you know a dentist's favorite hymn? Do you know how to make Holy Water? Read on to find out all these answers (and more!) through our favorite family-friendly Christian quips and puns. Even if these cheesy one-liners don't all have you laughing out loud, you're sure to find at least one joke on this list that makes you crack a smile.
1. How does Moses make his coffee?
Answer: Hebrews it.
2. How long did Cain dislike his brother?
Answer: As long as he was Abel.
3. Why didn't Noah go fishing?
Answer: He only had two worms.
4. What is the best way to study the Bible?
Answer: You Luke into it.
5. How do you know that atoms are Catholic?
Answer: They have Mass.
6. What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
Answer: A roamin' Catholic.
7. Why did the priest giggle during his homily?
Answer: He had Mass hysteria.
8. What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer?
Answer: A father-in-law.
9. Why did the sponge go to church?
Answer: It was hole-y.
10. What did God do to cure Moses' headache?
Answer: He gave him two tablets.
11. What did Moses say when he saw people worshipping the golden calf?
Answer: Holy cow!
12. What do you call a Catholic service that's especially important?
Answer: A critical Mass.
13. Where is the best place to get an ice cream cone?
Answer: Sunday School.
14. What is a mathematician's favorite book of the Bible?
Answer: Numbers.
15. Why couldn't they play cards on the Ark?
Answer: Noah was always standing on the deck.
16. What time of day was Adam created?
Answer: A little before Eve.
17. What did Adam say the day before Christmas?
Answer: It's Christmas, Eve!
18. What type of lights did Noah have on the Ark?
Answer: Floodlights.
19. Why couldn't Jonah trust the ocean?
Answer: He knew there was something fishy about it.
20. Where was Solomon's temple located?
Answer: On the side of his head.
21. Why is Abraham considered the smartest person in the Bible?
Answer: He knew a Lot.
22. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
Answer: Ruthless.
23. Why did the unemployed person get excited while reading the Bible?
Answer: They thought they saw a Job.
24. What type of car would Jesus drive?
Answer: A Christler.
25. Why is Adam considered the fastest person in the Bible?
Answer: He came first in the human race.
26. How do you make Holy Water?
Answer: You take some regular water and boil the devil out of it.
27. What do donkeys send out around Christmastime?
Answer: Mule-tide greetings.
28. Why did Samson try to avoid arguing with Delilah?
Answer: He didn't want to split hairs.
29. Why did the hawk sit on the church steeple?
Answer: It's a bird of pray.
30. Which area of the Promised Land was especially wealthy?
Answer: The area around the Jordan where the banks kept overflowing.
31. Why is Samson considered the best comedian in the Bible?
Answer: He brought the house down.
32. Why wouldn't the Pharaoh let the Hebrews go?
Answer: He was in 'de Nile.
33. What is a salesman's favorite Scripture passage?
Answer: The Great Commission.
34. What is a missionary's favorite kind of car?
Answer: A convertible.
35. Why is Moses considered the biggest rebel in the Bible?
Answer: He broke all Ten Commandments at once.
36. What do they call pastors in Germany?
Answer: German Shepherds.
37. Why is Swiss considered the most religious type of cheese?
Answer: It's hole-y.
38. Who is the patron saint of poverty?
Answer: Saint Nickeless.
39. What is a dentist's favorite hymn?
Answer: Crown him with many crowns.
40. Why did Noah have to punish the chickens on the Ark?
Answer: They were using fowl language.
41. Why is David considered the best babysitter in the Bible?
Answer: He rocked Goliath to sleep.
42. How do we know Peter was a successful fisherman?
Answer: By his net income.
43. What animal could Noah not trust?
Answer: Cheetah.
44. Which Bible Character is a locksmith?
Answer: Zaccheus.
45. Why did Moses cross the Red Sea?
Answer: To get to the other side.
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